Fathers of the new millenium
ACTIVITY A: Read the following article and do the
exercises below.
FATHERHOOD 2.0. By Lisa Takeuchi Cullen & Lev Grossman
DOES BEING MORE OF A FATHER
MAKE YOU less of a man? To a group of committed dads assembled one night in a
New Jersey diner, the answer is obvious. Sort of. Paul Haley, 38, a father of two, says
women look at him when he walks down the street with his kids. "I think
it's admiration," he says. Adam Wolff, also 38-with two kids and one on the
way ponders what it means to be a man. "Is my man-ness about being the
breadwinner or being a good father to my kids or something else?"
But what does it mean, exactly, to be a man these days? Once upon a Darwinian time, a man was the one spearing the woolly mammoth. And it wasn't so long ago that a man was that strong and silent fellow over there at the bar-a hardworking guy in a gray flannel suit or blue-collar work shirt. He sired children, yes, but he drew the line at diapering them. He didn't know what to expect when his wife was expecting, he didn't review bottle
warmers on his daddy blog, and he most certainly didn't participate in little-girl tea parties.
Today's dads plead guilty to all of the above-so what does that make them? "Men today are far more involved with their families than they have been at virtually any other time in the last century," says Michael Kimmel, author of Manhood in America:
A Cultural History. In the late 1970S, sociologists at the University of Michigan found that the average dad spent about a third as much time with his kids as the average mom did. By 2000, that was up to three-fourths. The number of stay-at-home fathers in the U.S. has tripled in the past 10 years.
Fathers' style of parenting has changed too. Men hug their kids more, help with homework more, tell kids they love them more. Or, as sociologist Scott Coltrane of the University of California, Riverside, says, "Fathers are beginning to look more like mothers." Many dads are challenging old definitions of manliness. "Masculinity has traditionally been associated with work and work-related success, with competition, power, prestige, dominance over women, restrictive emotionality-that's a big one," says Aaron Rochlen, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Texas, who studies fatherhood and masculinity. "But a good parent needs to be expressive, patient, emotional, not money oriented." Though many fathers still cleave to the old archetype, Rochlen's study finds that those who don't are happier. Other research shows that fathers who stop being men of the old mold
have better-adjusted children, better marriages and better work lives-better physical and mental health, even. "Basically," says Rochlen, "masculinity is bad for you."
So are sugar doughnuts and men hate to let go of those too.
But how to forge a new idea of manhood for this brave new two-income world? Hollywood hasn't been much help. From Michael Keaton in the 1983 movie Mr.
Mom to
Adam Sandler in Big Daddy (1999) to Eddie Murphy in Daddy Day Care(2003), the sight of a man caught in the act of parenting has been a reliable laugh getter-always a good indicator of what the culture considers uncomfortable material. For every Pursuit of Happyness (2006), there's a movie like this summer's Knocked
Up, which
plays not so much as a tribute to fatherhood as an effort by men to convince themselves that fatherhood is all right and the movie's happy
ending is the least plausible thing about it.
Society hasn't made it easy for newly evolved dads to feel manly either. In
Rochlen's study of stay-at-home dads, those who scored low on measures of traditional masculinity professed higher degrees of happiness in their roles-as well as in their marriages, with their children and with their health. But even they worried about how the rest of the world viewed their choice-with some reason. "There's definitely a stigma out there," says Rochlen.
When men take on non traditional roles in the home and family, it also makes a difference to the marriage. Coltrane of UC Riverside and John Gottman at the University of Washington found in separate studies that when men contribute to domestic labor (which is part and parcel of parenting), women interpret it as a sign of caring, experience less stress and are more likely to find themselves in the mood for sex. This is not to say that more involved fathering has
erased marital tensions or that it hasn't introduced new ones, as some women resent ceding their
role as top parent.
Today's
fathers aren't the men their own fathers were. The new fathers are creating a new ideal of masculinity. "The· emerging and evolving norms of fatherhood and masculinity challenge men to be a different kind of guy," says Rochlen. "But on the positive side, it gives them new opportunity to embrace and enact these dimensions that are good for them and good for their families." It's even good for their emotional health. Coltrane says fatherhood is proving a "safe pathway" for
men to develop and explore their nurturing side. "It's not considered wimpy or gay to hug your
daughter," he adds. That's something we can all embrace.
ANSWER THE FOLLOWING MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTIONS: Circle the option which
best fits
1.
The
fathers interviewed in the first paragraph
a.
suffer a serious identity crisis.
b.
are happy with being like mothers.
c.
thank the support given by other women.
d.
find problems to
adjust manliness and fatherhood.
2.
In the second paragraph the
main idea suggested by the narrator is
that
a.
most men weren’t good fathers.
b.
men and women fulfilled different
roles.
c.
most men didn’t know how to
change a diaper.
d.
men were expectant when their
wives were pregnant.
3.
When the writer says “ Today’s Dads plead guilty to all of the
above”. He means that dads. (line 14)
a.
stay at home.
b.
are keen on daddy’s blogs.
c.
are more involved in
parenting.
d.
spend more time with kids than
their moms.
4.
According to Aaron Rochlen “masculinity has been traditionally
associated with” being…( lines 23-24 )
a.
bossy and competitive
b.
Successful and famous
c.
authoritarian and energetic
d.
the dominant partner and
ambitious
5.
According to Aaron Rochlen we
can infer that..( lines 25-31 )
a.
You cannot be a good father
without being very masculine
b.
Fathers should get rid of the
traditional concept of masculinity.
c.
Fathers who stick to the
traditional role have happier children
d.
Fatherhood and masculinity are
two compatible qualities in life.
6.
What has been Hollywood’s
attitude to this new generation of Daddies? ( lines 33-39 )
a.
derisive
b.
tolerant
c.
respectful
d.
sympathetic
7.
Which sentence summarises best
the content of lines. 40 -44.
a.
Fathers with low levels of
masculinity are healthier.
b.
Society is willingly embracing
this new concept of fathers.
c.
Most stay-up-home dads are
happy but worried as to how they are seen.
d.
Most stay-up-home dads are
happy with their new role within the family.
8.
Having a father more involved
in house chores and parenting ( lines 45-50 )
a.
originates new marital
quarrels
b.
erases all tensions within the
family
c.
reduces the stress of the
female partner.
d.
forces mothers to cede their
role as a top parent.
9.
How do the narrators make
their point in the conclusion? ( 51- 57)
a.
By expressing their views
overtly.
b.
By mentioning specialists in
the field.
c.
By summarising the main points
exposed.
d.
By contrasting the main points
of view presented.
10.
What is the main topic of this
article ?
a.
Problems and issues of
parents.
b.
The implications of the
economic crisis.
c.
The clash between old roles
and new ones.
d.
Issues of the fathers of the
new millennium.
11.
How many main voices or points
of view does the text present?
a.
3 ( journalists , mothers
& specialists )
b.
3 ( journalists, dads &
specialists)
c.
2 ( specialists and fathers )
d.
2 (journalists and mothers)
ACTIVITY B: VOCABULARY EXERCISE.
FIND IN THE
TEXT THE FOLLOWING WORDS OR EXPRESSIONS:
- A past
participle which comes from a verb
which means : To get together as a
group/ to bring people together ( line
4 ) _______________________
- A verb which
means :to consider , to think over
( line 6 ) _________________
- As a noun it
refers to a weapon with a long
wooden handle and a sharp metal point used for fighting, hunting and
fishing in the past, and as verb it means : to throw or push a pointed object through sth/sb: ( line 9 )
______________________
- An adjective connected with people who work in an
industry or do physical work ( line 10 )
___________________________________
- An old and
traditional expression which means :to
become the father of a child ( line 11 ) _____________________________
- A verb which
means: to stick close to sth/sb, to
follow ( line 27 ) _______________
- An expression
which means : to give up an idea or
an attitude, or control of something: ( line 31 )
__________________________
- A verb which
means: to put a lot of effort into
making sth successful or strong so that it will last, to create or
establish, set basis for.. ( line 32 ) ____________________
- An adjective
which comes from the words: evolution
and a verb which means: to develop over time, often many
generations, into forms that are better adapted to survive changes in
their environment ( line 40 ) ___________________
- A verb which
means: to perform to carry out, or take part (line 54
) _______________
- An adjective (
present participle ) which comes from a verb which means : to care for and protect sb/sth while
they are growing and developing: ( LINE 56 ) _______________
- An adjective which comes from noun which describes a person who is not strong, brave or confident ( line 56 ) ______________
ORAL ACTIVITIES:
A:
IN SMALL GROUPS SUMMARISE THE MAIN POINTS OF THE ARTICLE IN NO MORE THAN
100 WORDS.
B:
IN SMALL GROUPS TRY TO FIND EXAMPLES IN THE TEXT WHICH EXPLAINS THE
TRADITIONAL ROLE OF MEN IN SOCIETY AND IN THE FAMILY AND CONSTRAST THEM WITH
EXAMPLES OF THESE NEW ROLES OF FATHERS IN THE FAMILY. ALSO ENUMERATE THE
PROBLEMS THIS NEW GENERATION OF FATHERS MAY ENCOUNTER.
YOU CAN ADD EXAMPLES OF YOUR OWN.
Traditional Role
|
New Role
|
Problems
|
-Sired the children
|
-Change diapers
|
-Other women look at them puzzled
|
C: IN SMALL GROUPS DISCUSS THE FOLLOWING:
a.
Is your father the only
breadwinner in your family unit? How has this affected the sharing in the
household management?
b.
Who does all the house chores
at home? Who is in charge or organising and supervising who does what?
c.
Compare your upbringing with
your father’s one.
d.
What kind of role did your
grandfather play in the family? Can you describe the different family tasks
each member of the family did?
e.
What about the future? What kind
of parent would you be in the future? What values would teach your
children?
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